Dave's Daily Blog

Dorothy Dix (November 18, 1861 – December 16, 1951), was the pseudonym of U.S. journalist Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer.

As the forerunner of today’s popular advice columnists, Dorothy Dix was America’s highest paid and most widely read female journalist at the time of her death. Her advice on marriage was syndicated in newspapers around the world. With an estimated audience of 60 million readers, she became a popular and recognized figure on her travels abroad. Like today’s advice columnists “Dear Abby” and “Ann Landers,” Dorothy Dix often received requests to reprint some of her columns. During World War II, one of the most requested columns was her ten rules for happiness. They are:

First. Make up your mind to be happy. Happiness is largely a matter of self-hypnotism. You can think yourself happy or you can think yourself miserable. It is up to you…learn to find pleasure in simple things. If you can’t go to the opera, you can turn on the radio. Nail on your face the smile that won’t come off, and after a bit you will find that it comes naturally.

Second. Make the best of your lot. Of course, you’re not everything you want and things are not just right. Nobody is that lucky. Even the most fortunate have a lot of crumpled rose leaves under their forty mattresses of ease. There isn’t a single human being who hasn’t plenty to cry over, and the trick is to make the laughs outweigh the tears.

Third. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t think that everything that happens to you is of world-shaking importance and that somehow you should have been protected from the misfortunes that befall other people. When death robs you of one you love, or you lose your job, don’t demand to know of high heaven why this should happen to you and grow rebellious and morbid over your sorrow. We are never happy until we learn to laugh at ourselves.

Fourth. Don’t take other people too seriously. They are not so much, anyway. Don’t let their criticisms worry you. You can’t please everybody, so please yourself. Don’t let your neighbors set your standards for you. Don’t run into debt trying to keep up with the Joneses, or bore yourself to death trying to be as intelligent as the Highbrows. Be yourself and do the things you enjoy doing if you want to be comfortable and happy.

Fifth. Don’t borrow trouble. You have to pay compound interest on that and it will bankrupt you in the end. It is a queer thing, but imaginary troubles are harder to bear than actual ones. There are none of us who have not lain awake at night petrified with dread of some calamity that we feared might befall us and that we felt would shatter our lives if it should occur. Generally it never happened, but if it did, it was not so bad after all and we survived it without serious injury. Enjoy today and let tomorrow take care of itself. There is no sounder adage than that which bids us not to trouble trouble until trouble troubles us. The only good that worrying ever did anyone was make him thin. It is grand for the figure but hard on the disposition.

Sixth. Don’t cherish enmities and grudges. Don’t keep up old quarrels. Don’t remember all the mean things people have done to you. Forget them. Hate is a dreadful chemical that we distill in our own hearts, that poisons our own souls. It takes all the joy out of life and hurts us far worse than it does anyone else. There is nothing so depressing as having a grudge against someone. Nothing makes a home so miserable as for the family not to be on good terms. Meeting someone you don’t speak to will spoil any party. So if you have an enemy, forgive him and kiss on both cheeks, not for his sake but simply because it is to making you unhappy and uncomfortable to be stirred up in wrath against him.

Seventh. Keep in circulation. Go around and meet people. Belong to clubs. Travel as much as you can. Have as many interests as possible. Have hosts of friends. That is the way to keep yourself cheerful and jolly and thinking that this is the best of all possible worlds.

Eighth. Don’t hold post-mortems. Don’t spend your life brooding over the mistakes you have made or the sorrows that have befallen on you. What is done is done and cannot be changed, but you can have your whole future life in which to make good. Not all the tears can bring back those we have lost, but we can make life miserable for ourselves and those about us by our unavailing weeping. Quit beating upon your breast because you haven’t as much money as you used to have. Don’t be one of those who never get over things. Have the courage to take misfortune on the chin and come up smiling.

Ninth. Do something for somebody less fortunate than yourself. Minister to other people’s trouble and you will forget your own. Happiness is a coin that we keep only when we give it away.

Tenth. Keep busy. That is the sovereign remedy for unhappiness. Hard work is a panacea for trouble. You never saw a very busy person who was unhappy.

You might be an alcoholic if……

20. You have awakened with an overwhelming feeling that you should go back and apologize..but you don’t remember where.

19. The Tipsy Taxi service has banned you from all its vehicles.

18. You refer to your favorite song only by its jukebox selection numbers, G-12.

17. People consider your spouse a saint for reasons that totally escape you.

16. Your least favorite song is “Good Night Sweetheart”.

15. The last time you had a legal driver’s license, so did Ted Kennedy.

14. You bought your current pick-up truck because it has a cool place to hide a six pack.

13. Your last public sing-along experience included the entire “Changes in Latitude” album.

12. But officer its been a long time since I tried to say my ABC’s.

11. Your shrubs are drunk from frequent watering.

10. All your old friends are now members of 12-step groups..

9. The 911 dispatcher no longer has to ask your wife for the address.

8. You think the nutritional information on the back of a a beer can is proof that you should be able to buy it with food stamps.

7. The only hymn to which you remember all the words was written by Hank Williams, Sr.

6. “Screw Dinner!”

5. You know for certain that putting your foot on the floor does not stop the room from spinning.

4. Your insurance agent drops by and mentions your policy does cover treatment centers.

3. You know the punch line to “Why does an Al-Anoner  close her eyes to make love?”

2. The producers of the television program “Cops” still send you Christmas cards.

1. Two words: Commode Huggin’.

• {In my paper The Solution News I have many fine columnists. Rebecca B. is not only a very fine writer but also a personal friend. I thought that it would be appropriate to introduce my blog readers to some of the fabulous contributors to The Solution News and solutionnews.org. You can find a collection of Bebecca’s columns at the website.}

BY THE GRACE OF GOD GO I

Being involved with the recovery community or in recovery yourself, you have probably either said this phrase or at the very least heard it.

I remember when I first started hearing it I thought, “Yes! I know that grace is the only reason that I am here!” But then sometimes I would hear in meetings that so and so relapsed, “but by the grace of God go I”. I would think to myself, “yeah that’s true, but why did that happen to them?” I had begun to question the legitimacy of that statement. It came to a head when a female, who had been a resident in the program I worked in at the time, was reportedly found dead in her apartment. She had allegedly been in another relapse. That was obviously troubling, all deaths are. But that wasn’t what troubled me the most. What really got me, was that she had reportedly died in an upright position beside her bed, on her knees in a “prayer” posture. The more that image came into my mind, the angrier I became. I thought, “so what about grace God?!! Where was her grace? What did she do to not deserve the grace? Better yet, what did I do to get it?”

Anger and guilt, that was about all that was in me for several days. This was one time I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone else. I just wanted to understand and I wanted that answer to come from my own Creator. One day it just did. A very clear thought entered into my mind. “What made me think that what happened to her wasn’t grace? I mean, who was I to say what grace was or was not. This female, I knew to chronically relapse. I had heard some people who had known her for a long time state believing that she was one of the “unfortunates” that the Big Book referred to, that was incapable of being honest with her self.

So, how did grace apply to her? Well, what came to me was this. She had reportedly suffered most of her life with addiction and the inability to stay clean. What if, in that prayerful position, God as she understood Him, gave her grace and relieved her of her suffering? It was difficult for me to grasp that initially, but as years have passed, I have come to believe this. It is just so easy to put God into a box and define Him in strict terms with many boundaries. In reality, I believe my Creator to be infinite, endless and without boundaries. Like a lot of people, one might think that prison would not be an answer to prayer, but I have talked to hundreds of inmates who would say with utter conviction, that indeed it was an answer to prayer and that they would be dead if it had not have happened! I have talked to many a homeless person, who had once had numerous possessions in their in their life, only to lose it all, including their families, due to their addiction. Those same people would look me in the eye and would also say with great conviction, “I’m so grateful for that, because I wouldn’t be where I am today if it had not have happened”
.
In my own life I have heard those very words come out of my own mouth, when someone would say, “I can’t believe you can be so happy after all that stuff happened.” So in conclusion, I found that grace is a word without boundaries and it comes in many forms. Why grace is one way for one person and a totally different way for another, well, I think that is just God’s business.
…………………..Rebecca B.

GOD in His wisdom selected this group of men and women to be purveyors of His goodness. In selecting them through whom to bring about this phenomenon, He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant. He went instead to the humble, to the sick, to the unfortunate. He went right to the drunkard, the so-called weakling of the world. Well might He have said to us:

Unto your weak and feeble hands I have entrusted a power beyond estimate. To you has been given that which has been denied the most learn-ed of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen, not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests or ministers have I given this gift of healing other alcoholics which I entrust to you.

It must be used unselfishly; it carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long; no demands upon your time can be too urgent; no case be too pitiful; no task too hard; no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed, and no denomination. Personal criticism you must expect; lack of appreciation will be common; ridicule will be your lot; your motives will be misjudged. You must be prepared for adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rungs toward spiritual perfection, and remember, in the exercise of this power I shall not exact from you beyond your capabilities.

You are not selected because of exceptional talents, and be careful al-ways, if success attends your efforts not to ascribe to personal superiority that to which you can lay claim only by virtue of my gift. If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, the power would have been entrusted to the physician and scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men, there would have been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest used of all talents with which I have endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better-qualified men than you who would be available. You were selected because you have been the outcasts of the world and your long experience as drunkards has made or should make you humbly alert to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere.

Keep ever in mind the admission you made on the day of your profession in AA- namely that you are powerless and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and will unto my keeping that relief came to you.

See more like this at solutionnews.org Inspiration Archives

I am 18 days away from my 65th birthday but more importantly I am 18 days away from being on Medicare. The last two weeks have been an exercise on the frustration that I have experienced throughout my life with the lack of a health care system in our country. I stay away from the political most of the time but in this case I just want to share a little personal story and suffice it to say that I think health care should be a guarantee to every American. If  this is political, too bad, and if you don’t agree its probably because you have health insurance.

I caught a viral infection ten days ago. My attempt to treat it on my own cost about $60 in over the counter medicines and loss of work costing about  $500. The severity and unresponsiveness to over the counter stuff made a doctors appointment necessary. Most of my uninsured life this would have meant a trip to the emergency room and a charge of anywhere from $200 to $1,000 depending on the tests performed. In this case since I had set up an appointment with a doctor for my new Medicare coverage I had one, but since it was not Medicare time yet the office visit cost me $185 and the prescriptions cost $50. Out sick now ten days the lost work time now doubled to about  $1,000. So the total cost of a two week illness is roughly$1,295.

If I were “retired”  (a word which will soon be retired from the dictionary from lack of use} my Social Security check of $911 dollars would not even cover this minor two week illness.

In 18 days I can become a Tea Bagger, hate our government while appreciating the benefits of the greatest social legislation in our countries history. Now thats political!!!

1) If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

2) Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3) The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution is simple: Eat it in the parking lot.

4) Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.

5) If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

6) If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

7) Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

9) Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.

10) Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

11) A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

12) If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

More like this at solutionnews.org

There are many roads to recovery but by far the one most practiced is the 12 step approach. The Twelve Steps were written by Bill Wilson and became the basis of the book Alcoholics Anonymous which has become known as “The Big Book”. The twelve steps outline a program of action which takes its practitioners through the process of change felt necessary to maintain continuous sobriety. Over the years the 12 steps have been used as the basis for over one hundred programs of recovery from a variety of addictions and behavioral problems.
The first nine steps concern the admission of the problem, the belief that a higher power can alleviate the problem, taking inventory of ourselves, sharing the inventory, looking at our personal character defects, turning the defects over to a higher power for removal, and the making of amends to persons we have harmed. This is the hard work necessary to bring us to the point where the promises of the program can and will be realized. The Promises can only be realized on a daily basis through the constant vigilance and effort required in Steps 10, 11, and 12. These steps have come to be called The Maintenance Steps and are the key to continuous recovery and the peace of mind that we all desire.
One of Webster’s definitions for the word maintain is “provide with the necessities for life or existence” and its hard to believe that our founders weren’t aware of this when they defined these steps as Maintenance Steps. My sponsor taught me in the early days of my recovery to keep a dictionary next to the Big Book so I could look up words as I went along. I think Bill must have made great use of the dictionary when he wrote.
Using this definition it is easy to draw the parallel between the twelve steps providing the necessities for life and existence for those in recovery. This is especially true of these three steps for without them we are unable to hold on to the progress we have made in the earlier steps and our very life becomes threatened. The last three steps of the twelve step program are applicable to all those wanting to hold on to the progress and promises received from the first nine steps as well as anyone who wants to enhance the quality of their life.
So what are these maintenance steps?
Step Ten suggests that we  “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong  promptly admitted it.” As with all of the steps there are spiritual principles attached to each step. The spiritual principles associated with this step are Acceptance, Patience, Perseverance and Vigilance. The step reminds us that selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear are still daily problems that can be dealt with effectively by taking a daily inventory. By promptly admitting our mistakes and harmful thoughts and actions we do not let them fester and carry over and accumulate. The step is like a pressure relief valve keeping us right sized.
Step Eleven says that “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” The spiritual principles behind this step include Knowledge, Attunement and Awareness. The step becomes an anchor for our continued recovery by assuring our reliance on and deepening  our relationship with a higher power. As this relationship grows we become more and more aware  of our Higher Power’s will for us. We become more aware of the fact that we do the steps not so much for us as to be of maximum service to our Higher Power.
Step Twelve tells us “having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. The spiritual principles behind this step are Service and Gratitude. Having brought about a personality change sufficient to remain in recovery we are empowered to demonstrate the new principles by which we live, in our daily life through example. We seek out and are available to help others in need.
We often hear it said that we cannot keep our recovery unless we give it away. By the daily practice of these very important maintenance steps we manage through constant vigilance to keep ourselves in right spiritual condition. When we are in right spiritual condition we can give back what has been so freely given to us. By doing this we are able to maintain our recovery. The maintenance steps truly provide us with the necessities for a rewarding and meaningful life as well our very existence.

More of Dave’s Articles at solutionnews.org

I’ve searched,

I’ve searched the avenues of life,

the pristine chapels, the Bowery flophouses.

I’ve searched the Halls of Justice, on both sides.

I’ve looked under the leaves and behind the clouds.

I’ve searched through the rain and pain of forgotten memories,

broken promises and shattered dreams.

I’ve yearned for the answers to all the questions,

some as yet unasked.

I’ve loved,

the earth, the sky, and all the animals,

and,

I’ve hated myself!

I’ve dreamed,

I’ve dreamed of dancing on moonlight and traveling to the stars.

I’ve dreamed of worldly delights, while searching through the bars.

I’ve dreamed of better worlds, with peace and tranquillity.

I’ve seen the cold shoulder of inhumanity,

and,

Sometimes I’ve found it to be mine.

I’ve been,

I’ve been in and out of jails, in and out of Hell.

I’ve been ostracized, penalized, deluded, denuded,

and institutionalized.

I’ve seen,

I’ve seen the deathly gray pall of time passing uselessly by.

I’ve seen the fire of a new dawn,

when,

Through an alcoholics’ haze,

I witnessed the birth of a new life,

My own!

And now,

I have seen –GOD– and –MYSELF–,

and,

I am FREE,

FREE to be ME

This poem, “The Quest”, was written by a drunk, a sober drunk, who was sober about 5 days. I had twelve stepped Paul out of the French Quarter of New Orleans in 1985. He was a sad case. Boy, was he a sad case. We got him to the Camel Club in Gretna, filled him with coffee, orange juice and honey, got him sobered up in about 36 hours, got him somewhat settled down and into the Bridge Step House located just under the Greater New Orleans Bridge. I came into the club about 4 days later and Paul was at the coffee bar writing. I asked if he was writing a 4th step and he said “No, I’m writing a poem.” I said “Oh, okay” and went over to talk with some other fellows, Joe B. and Merle. After 5 or 10 minutes had passed, Paul asked if we wanted to hear his poem, and we all waited. I said “Sure”.  Paul was formerly a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford in England, came to this country to make his living in literature, got into a bottle, made it to the French Quarter, to the Camel Club, to this poem, and SOBRIETY! What a Gift!  (More inspiration material at solutionnews.org

New York, April 1, 2010 – Due to the downturn in the economy,
Alcoholics Anonymous will NO LONGER be dues and membership free  as has been the case for almost 75 years.

Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as:

1. Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension — $49.99 per trip, fuel
surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th Dimension trips  optional; additional fee applies.  See your sponsor for details.

2.  Sponsorship — was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each. Surcharge for calls after midnight: $1.50 per call.

3.  Membership Dues — now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year plan.

4. Seating charges — Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90-in-90 plan.

5.Pink Cloud — was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee.  These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.

6. Coffee — $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.

7. Hugs — will now be $2.50 each.

8. Conscious Contact with God — now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 10 cents/minute over 450..  New Double your Minutes for Life plan is a low $49.99 one time charge.  Holidays and weekends extra; see  rate schedule, as God is VERY busy.

9. Accidental cell phone call during meeting — charge now set at
$25.00 per incident.  Intentional calls:  $75.00

10. I’ve been “Thinking” fees to now be $3.00 each, with a Relapse Reentry Fee of only $99.99 (each occurrence), if you’re lucky enough to make it back into the rooms.  Fees will be used to purchase additional white chips.

Please note:  void where prohibited by law.

AA reserves the right to change none, all, or some of these rates at anytime, with no notice to you.  If you need a notice of change in rates, a written request may be sent to headquarters in New York. A $10.00 fee applies.

NOTE:   The editor does not accept responsibility for your reaction to this article.  If you have a problem with it,  please consult your sponsor (normal charges apply).

Kinda makes you think twice about how lucky we are that they decided to have the 8th tradition and not professionalize AA.  Imagine having to pay for a professional sponsor.  We probably have the only disease whose cure has not been commercialized.  Makes us special and lucky.  But, it’s so easy to think that the cure isn’t worth it’s weight in gold because we don’t have to pay big bucks for it!!

More like this at solutionnews.org humor pages.

Over the last eighteen years of publishing The Solution News I have collected hundreds of inspirational writings. They come from friends, the internet, book and magazines that I have read. The web site has become the most content rich addiction recovery website on the Internet due in a large part to the collected and archived material from the 18 years of publishing the paper. My original idea for the website was that it be a library of information for all to use free of charge. I have facilitated Spirituality Groups for over 12 years and use much of this material myself for the groups. I hope that my readers understand that they are free to use anything on the site either personally or professionally.

Today’s post offers twenty ways to find happiness. Try o few today. Find more at solutionnews.org

Twenty Keys to Happiness